Taylor Lautner On A T-Shirt

I’ve always wanted to be a “picker”. I never knew that was a real job until I watched American Pickers and thought to myself, “That’s one hell of a cool job.” It was something about buying stuff for cheap and then selling it for more that drove my interest. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to drive around the country looking for junkyards that may contain a rare motorcycle part from the first World War. Truth be told, I wouldn’t even know a motorcycle part from the first World War if it walked out of Target, slapped me on the ass and called me Charlene. So, I had to find something I was interested in.

I arrived at t-shirts.

Like this one:


Yes. That’s Taylor Lautner without a shirt on a t-shirt.

Now, this shirt isn’t rare or interesting or even remotely cool but I guarantee you there is someone out there who would pay to have Taylor Lautner bare chested with mom jeans on for everyone to see. I can, with my chest held high, say that I have not watched one single Twilight movie. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be in the right frame of mind watch any of that acting/shit.

However, I do want to know who wears this shirt or desires to own this shirt?

Are they a HUGE Twilight fan? Are they a Taylor Lautner fan? Is Taylor Lautner part alpaca?


You be the judge

Whatever the case may be, I find it fascinating to imagine why exactly people buy the t-shirts I sell? I can’t see much more of a reason to have this t-shirt unless I’m an 18-year-old with a time machine who buys this shirt, goes back to 2008 and gives it to themselves to wear to the Twilight premiere.

Also, Taylor looks a little deformed at this particular angle:


I’m interested to hear your take! Why would anyone want this shirt and/or get this shirt printed? Wouldn’t you rather have this shirt than have your intestines surgically removed with toothpicks and no anestesia?

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